the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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