I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
