guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
