I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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