he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
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I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
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Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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