After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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