i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
