I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize