it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
they're like a gay fantastic four
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
