I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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