WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
