My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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