Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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