I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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