her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
