help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
