Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
This house was built for laser tag.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
