You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
