the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
