I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We got so high we made milksteak
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
