Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
