There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
