This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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