Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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