And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
