i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize