You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
