Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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