We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
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I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
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When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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