Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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