You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
