Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Terrible idea I love it
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize