yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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