**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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