You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
