Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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