i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
