Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
do herpes really smell.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize