i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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