her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
