just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
