I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
