WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
