I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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