dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
