ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
