she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I would fuck him just for his dog
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
