Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize