Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
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Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
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I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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