What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
