Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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