Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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