New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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