i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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