I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
