The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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