why do cheetos always look like penises
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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