Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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