Im at strip club and am horny
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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