real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
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She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
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There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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