Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
