You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
