I puked a lego.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
