Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
