oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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