What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize