when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
