this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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