I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
