We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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